The 2015 Darwin Awards

So… sometimes people do things, and we are left wondering what on Earth were they thinking? Sometimes their foolish antics cause their death, and that’s the basis for what the internet has called “The Darwin Awards” since the dial-up days of 1985. The awards are for those who have contributed to natural selection by eliminating themselves from the gene pool through death or sterilization by their own ridiculously poor decisions.

First up, a young man who apparently didn’t realize that his head was not a great place to launch fireworks.

Devon Staples, who had been drinking, supposedly thought the firework was a dud.

Conceivably, his last words full of bravado – “Here, hold my beer.” According bystanders in Texas, the last words of our second award winner, Tommie Woodward, were “f*ck that alligator” after being warned to not swim in alligator-infested waters.

Please, humanity, please don’t make me have to make a “part 2” update.