Hold your tissues Swifties, T-Swift and Calvin are still together

Taylor Swift’s relationship with Calvin Harris was incorrectly reported to have ended. Why? Allegedly, Harris visited a massage parlor where things other than massages are rumored to take place (you know what I mean).
It was said that Swift, who has been with Harris since the spring, broke up with the DJ after photos of him visiting a Thai massage parlor surfaced. That’s kind of super embarrassing for Harris. I would quote some appropriate Taylor Swift song lyrics about quick reporting media but I’d probably get sued.

All jokes aside, Harris is not taking these allegations lightly. I wouldn’t either.

Ironically, reviews of the massage parlor he was seen exiting sing praise of the staff and say for people to “get their minds out of the gutter”. I’m not sure I want to live in a time where someone can’t visit a massage parlor without getting accused of committing a crime.
So don’t worry Swifties, there’s no ending, be it ‘happy’ or not, in sight for Calvin and Swift.