“Donald Trump, the patron saint of topical comedians who are just running out the clock.” –Jon Stewart, July 20th
#1 Orgasmic Stupidity
In response to Trump’s campaign announcement, Jon and two male members of his Best F*%#ing News Team displayed their O faces on national television. In Stewart’s own words, “Watching this man run for president is like eating ice cream on a roller coaster made of blow jobs.” Correspondent Jessica Williams, however, politely faked an orgasm and asked when the segment would be over.
#2 No, he definitely said that.
On July 2nd, Jon replayed a sound bite from Trump’s announcement speech where he says, “They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. And some, I assume, are good people,” over and over, hoping that those at FOX News would get the picture and stop defending the billionaire’s racist comments about Mexico.
#3 He said that, too.
A few weeks later, after Trump’s statement that John McCain is “not a war hero,” Stewart replayed said quote in order to remind Trump that there are no take backs, and he joked that ‘not liking people who were captured’ is akin to not liking cancer survivors.
#4 The Hair
Trump complained to CNN that people are constantly attacking his hair. Jon responded, “People are not attacking your hair. They are defending themselves from something that appears like it’s about to attack them.”
#5 Too Rich, Too Rude, Too Racist
On July 30th, Jon pointed out that Trump is the antithesis of everything the RNC wants to avoid: “The living embodiment of everything the Republicans were trying to exorcise from their party just escalated down on their parade.”
#6 Summer Trumpin’
Unable to contain his joy for Trump’s presidential campaign, Jon, Jordan Kleper, and Jessica Williams sang “Summer Trumpin’,” a Grease parody that served as an ode to Trump’s unfailing stupidity. The opening line? “Summer Trumpin’; had me a blast. Summer Trumpin’; he’s such an ass.”
#7 Word Vomit
When fellow Republican presidential candidates turned on Trump for his anti-POW statement against John McCain, Jon pointed out that “Trump has no control over the projectile vomit of dickishness that comes out of his mouth every time he opens it. It was inevitable some of his word puke was gonna get on you.” Your move, Republicans.
By Laney Portelance